Thank You!!

This post is so long overdue it is embarrassing, but just as Angela said life happens.

I want to thank all of you for participating in this little challenge. I learned so much. I was overwhelmed by the wisdom you shared and felt so blessed to be able to glean from it.

I hope that each of you gained a little something from reading and discussing these lessons. Thank you again for your thoughts, your questions and your advice.

Thank you!!

Thank you Marisa, everyone, and Happy Mother's Day

I know the weeks have long past since I should have written this. Life happens: we get sick, kids get sick, sun comes out so we run out, little boys learn to use the potty, and callings get busy. But I just wanted to say "Thank you" and post some of the things I've done/changed because of this challenge and because of you:

-- I re-assessed our budget
-- I've started praying daily in gratitude for my husband
-- I gave my mom a journal filled with questions
-- I've written a few more-than-normal times in my journal
-- I've looked in my children's eyes more often
-- I've thought more about how and when I'll have those "difficult" discussion with my kids (sex, gender, the scary scary world :))
-- I've  a few new recipes to try
-- Weekly or fortnightly "counsels" with Justin

and more things than I can think of right now. So thank you Marisa for setting this up! And thank you everyone for what you taught me. Happy Mother's Day!!

On a side note

So I actually haven't read this week's lesson (Justin needs our laptop a lot for school and work) but in this quick moment I wanted to send this link for a lovely look at motherhood.

And I look forward to this lesson. Marisa's questions have me thinking (and wanting to run away! I'm not ready for those tough issues!)

Enjoy this article

Family Council & A Question

I really appreciated the lesson this week. It got me thinking about things I want to change, start doing and things I hope to do in the future as Gavin grows and as our family grows.

When we were first married Danny suggested we do family council and at first I was a bit skeptical (I wasn't sure how this was going to be different than family night) then he said you can have my full attention while we PLAN as much as you want. That sold it. I was completely on board!

As we had a few of these family councils I quickly became aware of their greater importance (which I should have recognized from the get go). During our family councils we will discuss family related gospel topics, plan for the week or for other things and then share any thoughts or feelings we have about areas that need improvement.

We determined that if a problem or an issue didn't need to be dealt with right away then we could save it for our discussion during family council. One of the greatest pieces of advice that we picked up from listening to For All Eternity by Dr. John L. Lund (I highly recommend reading this book, it is awesome! We have it on CD and have listened to it multiple times.) was that  suggestions or requests for change in behavior are much more readily accepted when we ask our spouse when they would prefer to talk about the issue. Dr. Lund even suggests that you use a rating system, 1 being very minor and a 10 being a little harder swallow. That way when you have something you want to bring up you can tell your spouse "Hey I have something I want to talk to you about, it is probably a 4. When would be a good time to talk to you about it?" Then the spouse can mentally be prepared for a request or suggestion for change in behavior, whether they say, "Hit me with it now" or "How about later this evening." This works wonders with me because I tend to get more defensive (something I am working on) and turn what should be a simple discussion into a discussion filled with anger, frustration and even possibly hurt all because I get defensive. Whereas when I know that I have a suggestion coming my way I can be prepared for it.

Anyway...I could talk all day about the great things we have implemented in our marriage because of that book. Seriously, you should read it. I guarantee there will be something that you can use to make your marriages even more awesome than they already are!

Family council has been a great time for us to re-evaluate things and discuss things that each of us can change. I have really grown to love them. I always feel closer to Danny and more on track after we have finished. The counsel in this lesson was really good on how to have an effective family council with your spouse.

My last thought is actually to throw out a question. I love the idea of having interviews with your children and I plan to do that. I always had daddy-daughter dates with my dad that I really cherished. What didn't happen so much was those taboo conversations (aka sex, maturation etc.) and although I lucked out I don't think I want to take the chance with not having those conversations with my kids.

So here's the question...Did your parent's have those conversations with you? Did they go about it well? What made it work or not work? Have you heard of any suggestions that you think will work and are thinking you will use with your own family?

That was more like 4 questions but you get my drift. I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas!

It's the little things

First of all I have to apologize for the terrible layout. For some reason when I type on my iPad it shows up all in one paragraph- I hate that. So sorry if this is hard to read.  I too have been thinking about marriage all week. And I've decided it's all about the little things. Take for example just last night- I made baked potatoes for dinner (because it was easy and yeah believe it or not I was feeling a bit lazy) knowing full well Brock doesn't like them. I just assumed he'd eat them because, even if he doesn't like something he usually eats it without a fuss. Well I guess baked potatoes are different. After he finished all his chicken and veggies he began to clean up. Shocked that there was still a baked potato on his plate I ask, "aren't you going to eat that?" to which he politely responded, "No, I don't like baked potatoes." Ok normally, I'd just roll my eyes (because seriously, how can you not like baked potatoes? It's cheesy, sour creamy deliciousness!). But this time I was insistent for two perfectly sane reasons- 1) I was convinced that he didn't like baked potatoes because he didn't eat them right. If he just knew the proper way to put all that gooey goodness on he'd understand (in other words I knew I was right and I just needed him to come around to my point of view). And 2) these weren't your old run in the mill russet potatoes. These were amazing yellowy, buttery, creamy spuds! I don't know how the English grow their potatoes but they are good! It literally melts in your mouth! I just had to make him try it! After much prodding and a lot of feeling annoyed that he wouldn't budge on his opinion that baked potatoes are plain and tasteless (even after I dressed his potato up with all the goodies) I felt totally defeated. How could he not feel the same way? My brain just couldn't comprehend how we could feel so differently about this! Now here is the clincher, the entire time I'm just ranting and raving about how good these potatoes are, Brock quietly picked up his fork and began eating. He just laughed at my insistence and smiled as he explained for the 15th time that he just doesn't like potatoes and that it's okay to have a different opinion. Upon finishing the entire potato (skin and all) he said, "Now that's love." He ate that entire potato because he knew it was so important to me, because I felt so strongly about how delicious it tasted. Even though he disagreed, he just smiled and ate it anyway. Why? To make me happy. That's just how selfless my lover is (and how silly i can be...a lot of times. Another lesson I learned- be better about picking my battles. That probably wasn't a worthy battle to fight).  My husband is a perfect example of selfless love. He always puts me first, always! He lives by the quote, success in marriage isn't about marrying the right person, it's about being the right person. It's the little things, like giving your wife the last of the milk so she can have hot coco in the morning even though you really wanted cereal, or giving your husband the last bite of the delicious cookie you just ordered even though you are still salivating over the Belgium chocolate chunks, or giving your wife the contact case that has lids so her eyes don't dry out the next day (even though you know yours will), or it's about watching all the NFL highlights on ESPN.com together because you know it makes him giddy as a school girl (even though you really could care less), or (as is the case right now) its about both of you sleeping without a pillow because one of them fell on the floor in our hotel room (which for two germ freaks is a big deal)and wanting your spouses comfort before your own, refusing to take the only other pillow (even though our necks are going kill us tomorrow!) I'm betting that somehow I end up with the pillow in the morning. My sweetheart is amazing at always putting my happiness before his own. I don't feel like I'm as good at it but I vow to be better. I want to always put his happiness before my own because, that way we will both be happy for eternity. Not the worldly happiness that is fleeting and shallow but the kind of happiness that quenches your deepest thirst and fills your heart to the brim with warmth. 

Happily Ever After

I've been thinking a lot about marriage this week, and how blessed I am that the Lord led me to Jake.  I don't think anyone in the world would fit me more perfectly than my Jake. He truly is my best friend. Just yesterday we were reading the lesson for the Marriage and Family Relations class Jake goes to each Sunday (no, I'm no boycotting it, I teach the Sunbeams :-)  Yes, I come home tired!) President Spencer W. Kimball, in this lesson, stated:

"Many of the TV screen shows and stories of fiction end with marriage: 'They lived happily ever after.' We have come to realize that the mere performance of a ceremony does not bring happiness and a successful marriage.  happiness does not come by pressing a button, as does the electric light; happiness is a state of mind and comes from within.  It must be earned.  It cannot be purchased with money.  It cannot be taken for nothing.  


"Some think of happiness as a glamorous life of ease, luxury, and constant thrills; but true marriage is based on a happiness which is more than that, one which comes from giving, service, sharing, sacrificing, and selfishness."


How true that statement truly is.  Jake and I are not exactly at a point in our marriage where we experience "ease, luxury and constant thrills" by the world's view...but I must say, I feel like we lead a pretty exciting life.  We have the opportunity to raise and watch grow a young special daughter of God, who brings so much laughter and light into our lives (though, I would by no means say she brings "ease" ;-)  Our luxury consists of folding chairs for our "dining room" table, a kitchen where I can reach the fridge, sink and high chair from my seat, and a less than 600 sq. ft. rented duplex. Our constant thrills consist of grueling games of UNO and Sequence, watching Lucy on the swing, and experiencing the joy of our garden growing.  And yet....we're happy.  I am grateful to be married to a man who gives EVERYTHING in all he does, who loves, sacrifices and is nearly 100% selfless. I've heard it said that men can either be a prince, or a toad, that there is no middle ground.  I do not believe it...really, in all honesty, I think I'm the toad in our relationship!  But I'm grateful to have a patient husband.  Our marriage is by no means perfect, but we're trying.

President Kimball went on to say that in marriage "success...depends upon two individuals...and the Lord."  I know that as Jake and I both give our all, even on days where we don't want to, that our marriage will be successful, happy, and eternal.  THANK HEAVENS FOR ETERNITY!!!!

Date Nights

Since part of our goal this week is to plan a fun date night out or in for this weekend I want to hear some of your most favorite dates that you have had with your husbands. I would love to hear maybe one that was a stay at home (we all probably do this a lot) and one where you actually went out.

Danny and I don't go OUT much but the dates I have enjoyed the most have usually had something to do with a good dessert and something active like hiking or riding Danny's brothers horse. I love doing and trying new things with my best friend. It makes for a great time!

One of my most favorite stay home dates that we did was after putting Gavin to bed we busted out all our extra sheets and blankets and made ourselves the coolest fort ever! We had the best time trying to figure out how to build it. We built it so it was set up facing the TV and when it was all built we got pillows and blankets and snuggled while we watched our wedding video (it had been a little over two years since watching it). We both had such a great time!

We have gotten really good at trying to come up with awesome stay at home dates since Gavin was born and so here are a few other ideas of things that we have done...

• Colored a coloring book page together and talked
• Played 3 short games (tic-tac-toe, PIG on our little b-ball hoop, and short game of UNO) and the one who won 2 out of the 3 games got to have the other give them a back massage. 
• Watched funny videos on YouTube (Kid History episodes are winners!)
• Had a picnic in our living room (complete with blanket and basket)
• Pretended to go to a basketball game with fake tickets and arena food and then watched Hoosiers
• Put  a puzzle together (haven't done this yet but going to some day) or get the cheap one dollar little ones and have a race to see who can finish theirs first.

I would love to hear some of the things you guys have done (totally need an idea for this weekend)! Yeah Friday is tomorrow so I better come up with something fast!