Outlining the Facts and Leaping onward

Alright. So, this week has been hectic. I just barely read the lesson (ah! with 2 sick kids, a trip to the ER, sleepless nights, and other timely obstacles, that's just how this week has gone).

Wow, I have so much to say, this might be a bit of a rambling post, but bear with me. I felt myself nodding to Marisa and Angela's posts, and then Jessica's comments. It's amazing to me, actually, how much other people think about money, too! Because I am always thinking about it. Kind of like Marisa said, I'm always trying to update the budget, adjust it, make sure we're not spending too much (and that, too, has slipped the past few months. We got on a high around Christmas time and we haven't come back down).

So here are some personal truths about the concepts of money, frugality, "economic challenges."

1) I have never had money. When I was growing up, my dad was unemployed for 2 years 2 different times. The first time, my 3rd grade class ran a food drive for me because I stated I would buy money with the fake money I had earned through our product market. My wonderfully resourceful mom had been keeping us alive on wheat: wheat berries, wheat meat, wheat everything. As an 8-year-old, I hated it! But, we survived. The second time I was in high school and the only one left at home (I am the youngest of four). I was working 30 hours a week, going to school with 3 AP classes, and captain of my high school soccer time. My money bought our groceries. That was hard.

2) So that's my second point: I relate these experiences to explain why I don't like spending money, why when we were first married I had a hard time buying an extra 87 cent pot pie even though I was deathly ill with my pregnancy; why I have a hard time distinguishing between a physical survival need, an emotional survival need (like, things that make you feel good: activities, classes, etc? Am I the only who needs an 'escape" of sorts? like, for sanity?), and a want. I'm pretty good with wants, I guess, but it's the other two I have a hard time with.

So with those, here is where I stand: We are in dental school, living off of student loans (which was so hard for us to accept. We both hate debt. Shout out to Dave Ramsey!) There is no wiggle room. When the loans run out, they're out, so we have to stick to our budget. With some obstacles (like Mackenzie eating a TON, trying to make our loans last 12 months instead of 10, and for 4 people instead of 3), we're barely holding on, but we're still afloat.

My goals this week (what's left anyway):
1) Remember and focus on the eternal things. I love what Elder Maxwell says,
"All that matters is gloriously intact. The promises are in place. It is up to us to perform."
I can do that. I can focus on teaching my children, on helping them learn, on teaching myself, on just enjoying what I have while I have it.

2) Clear out Covetous feelings. I must admit I feel myself sink into this from time to time. I'm genuinely happy for and enthusiastic about other people's successes, but so much of me wants to be where they are: buying a house, having a REAL income, savings, etc. We will get to that point. So I want to be more aware of these feelings and thoughts and revert them to gratitude.

On a closing note, I just want to reiterate what Jessica commented on with Angela's post: Things do always work out. Heavenly Father is aware of us, and if we are doing our part, sharing what we have, giving of our time and our substance, He will make up the difference. I have learned that all my life, and I continue to feel His hand stretching our small bank account.

(I'm sorry this was so long-winded! I just have a lot of feelings concerning this topic.)